Pride or Apathy

July 10, 2011

     Long day today, no time for enjoyment and leisure. I don't mind, I am not in the mood to have fun nor do anything anyway. I just wanna caress these days of emptiness. No reason to be happy at all.

     There was not any signs of showing up.Maybe hide and seek was the new plan of game. I am not surprise anymore as I know him as a man of great pride. I don't have the guts to disturb him either, nor demand for any reason or even just to ask some questions, as his indifference was in its highest level already. It is a shame on my side to demand or expect anything as I can't see any feelings, even a littlest form of compassion.

     It is depressing but nothing I can do than to respect his will. It is not my choice not to bother him nor feel detached from him. It his pride or apathy that oblige me to do  so. I may not be sure if its pride or apathy but one thing I am sure, it's kind of a disgrace for me to ask for more.

     This may be another day of lonesomeness, still have to be thankful for this life. My hope and prayer is a blessing of compassion from above to heal this broken heart. In spite of all these pains, I prefer to struggle even if it means heart aches everyday. Any ways everything under the sun is vanity. I guess it is true what they say that in every laughter is equals to a hundredfold tears of sadness of man...